It's the beginning of another month! Here's our favourites for August.
July 2019 marked the end of our first year as husband and wife. It's been an exciting first year, to say the least. Besides reminscing on the lessons we've learned (which we'll share in other posts eventually), we came across some interesting finds in July. So, if you're looking for some new things to check out, here's our list of recommendations from our July adventures.
WRITTEN BY: KRYZIA
In 2015, Andrel was finishing up his diploma program at Seneca College in Toronto. I was finishing up my Master's program in Michigan with plans to return to Toronto after graduation. Our original plan was to look for jobs in Toronto, the place we were both born and raised. However, Andrel had a few options including a position at the City of Edmonton. After weighing out his options, we decided the opportunity with the City of Edmonton was the best opportunity for him to get a head start on his career. So in May 2015, Andrel moved across the country to start his job at the City of Edmonton. The plan was I would move forward with looking for a job in Toronto and Andrel would work in Edmonton for two to three years to get some experience then move back to Toronto.
But again, life had different plans. I graduated in August 2015 and I immediately started looking for a job. Despite sending out a million and one resume, I couldn't find a job in Toronto. I couldn't even land an interview. Then in May 2016, I accepted a free lance job to write about the Adventist Church's response to the Fort McMurray fires. I flew out to Alberta, happy to be making a few dollars and glad to see Andrel in between interviews. The funny thing is, my article interview with ADRA Canada turned into a job interview and I was offered a job on the spot. We've both been living in Alberta ever since.
WRITTEN BY: KRYZIA
Escalation of commitment. It happens when we can't walk away from something that's failing because of all of the resources we have invested (e.g. time, money, etc.) in that something. It can happen in any aspect of our lives, including our relationships. It's that nagging feeling of "you should break up with them", but hesitating because you've been with that person for x number of years or you've already moved in together or they've met your family already or.. The list can go on. It doesn't only happen with the extreme of breaking up, but it can also be to the extreme of getting married. It's that nagging feeling of you shouldn't get married just yet, but feeling like you need to because you're getting pressured from all sides or you've already made the announcement or.. Again, the list can go on.
After being with Andrel for so many years, we were mindful of escalation of commitment. I never wanted to be in a position where there were so many red flags, but we couldn't leave each other or slow down because we've been together so long and we've been through so much. It's a dangerous place to be in. So, I set up safeguards for myself. People may not agree with some of them, but keep in mind while reading this post that I did what I evaluated would work for me. You're more than welcome to tweak what I've listed to suit your needs or simply ignore them altogether. What I do hope you will take from this post is to be mindful. Be mindful of the possibility of escalation of commitment and figure out ways to prevent it in your relationship.
WRITTEN BY: ANDREL
One of the things I've learned over time is that Kryzia and I are very different. Big discovery. We're different not only in the way that we process information, but in the goals and aspirations we have for our lives. In the process of creating a shared vision, one of the most important things I've learned is how to make space for someone else. What that means is, I've had to learn how to become less self-centered and allow someone else's life objectives to become part of mine.